Apathy gets me through my day.

So, the other night I was fittin' to get a tranq pill to help me sleep and not out of the ordinary, my girlfriend helps herself to some stuff.  Well, anyway, later that night she tells me that she might be falling into old habits again and is afraid that she might go to rehab.  I cannot explain how that makes me feel.  It's like an army of 10,000 elephants decided to trample on my chest, followed by the most intense wavve of anger and guilt imaginable. 

Is that the way that I am supposed to feel?

How should I feel.

I know I should be all supportive and "oh baby" but I can't.  If she started to get bad I'd want to beat her in the face with a chair.  Obviously I wouldn't, but I'd want to.

It can be a stressful relationship to me sometimes, that's why I type up these blogs for no one to read.

Hi Kristen.

Maybe you're reading this even though I told you not to, so if you are go fuck off, ok?

So, we all have this grand plan to move to Michigan in June, and I just got to thinking...if for whatever reason Kristen and her mom can't go, or Kristen can't or whatever, should I just move back?  I mean, I came down here for Kristen, but I don't know what I want anymore.  I love her to death.  I'm not saying that I don't want to be with her but it's hard here. It's just hard and somethimes it just gets me way down.  Kristen must feel the same.  I'm moving back to Michigan this year one way or another, I think that that's pretty damn clear.

Mt

Rest in Peace.

You were an amazing kitten and will be greatly missed.

I really have nothing to post.  I'm a very boring person and I don't expect that to change, so neither should you. 

However, despite my affinity to bitching...I'm pretty happy.

I'm sitting in the living room with my girlfriend on the couch and her mom (my NC mom "biggie") in her throne.  We're watching a horrible show hosted by Wayne Brady going by the name of "Don't forget the lyrics!"

You know what though.

I'm pretty damn happy.

Ladies and gentlemen...I present to you, my first post.

I'm thinking that you're not nearly as excited as I am.  Actually...I'm thinking that you are more excited than I am, because I'm not very excited.  This isn't the first blog that I've created and hoped to make something great out of.  I'm beginning to believe that this blog will end up like all the other blogs.  Dead.

I'm living in North Carolina.  I work at Wendy's.  That's my life.  I came to north carolina to live with my now girlfriend of almost 7 months.  I love her very dearly but there are some things about her that I can't deal with sometimes.  I enjoy flirting very much with people...especially very attractive people.  My girlfriend is very jealous.  I'll be talking to a girl on Aim and she'll come up to the computer and scroll through the entire conversation.

w.t.f.

That's just damn rude and makes me very unhappy.  I don't understand why she does that.  I ask her if she trusts me and she tells me that she does...but how can she trust me when she does that?  Not saying that I'm the most not jealous person ever, but god damn!

-sigh-

But I digress.